Grant-writing tips for zombies

I decided to try my hand at creating a Halloween themed project overview for a hypothetical grant proposal. The result is the sample below.

So, certainly, there are some fatal flaws (pun intended) in my approach and the project in general. But in addition to that, there is also room for improvement in my write-up. Below is some feedback I'd give myself.

Use the primacy/recency effect: 
People tend to remember what they read first and last the best. So given that, it's important to make sure that the opening and closing of a project overview is the most important and impacting information. In my opening, I don't describe the project quickly or outline the need for this research to create urgency. I waste my readers' primacy effect on sentences that preface but don't really do anything. I also waste my closing sentences on details of my methodology instead of focusing on more memorable things like project impact or vision.

Don't use hyperbole:
You'll note that I tell my reviewers in the second paragraph that my project is "very important," and telling them that is so important that I've bolded this. This seems silly here, but it's surprising how many PIs do things like this. Firstly, it's always better to show your reviewers why your project is important rather than telling them it is. Also, use call-outs sparingly and thoughtfully. Before you bold, italicize, underline, or highlight anything, be sure that you want to draw your reader's attention to that very quickly, even before they start reading your opening sentence. Things like your research question, hypothesis, goals, or specific aims are fair game for highlighting, but once you've chosen something to highlight, stop there. Don't underline one thing, italicize another, and bold yet another. This just makes your overview confusing to your reviewer.

Use active vs. passive Voice:
First-person, active voice is the easiest to read and the clearest way to write. Yet, third-person, passive voice is used so frequently in academia and in grant proposals, perhaps because it lends an air of objectivity and professionalism to writing. In my overview, I go back and forth between all of these, which is my first mistake. If you're not told explicitly in an agency's proposal guidelines to use the third-person, then by all means, use the first-person and say I, me, and we to talk about your project.

If you are told to use the third-person in the project overview, you can still use active voice. For instance, I can rewrite the closing of my overview to be in active voice as follows:

Aim 1: develop prevention strategies to zombie transmission, Aim 2: identify and test zombie conversion techniques, and Aim 3: create a social system to rehabilitate recently returned humans from the zombie world. The project will employ a range of innovative methodologies in z-biochemistry, z-disease prevention, and z-public health.

Not only is it easier to understand when I use active voice, but you'll notice that I cut down on a whole line of text. This is significant given how little space PIs are given for their project overview.

Use visuals and white space:
I once heard a long-time NIH reviewer and funded PI say he had never seen an NIH proposal funded that didn't include a visual in the Specific Aims (the project overview for NIH proposals). When you consider the experience of reviewers, a visual that captures your project is really worth 1,000 words. Your reviewer can quickly understand what your project is about and recall it quickly when they come back to it after looking at the other proposals assigned to them to review. Going back to my sample, even though my visual is silly, it's not a bad example of a conceptual visual that captures my project.

In terms of white space, given the limited real estate you have to write your overview, it's always tempting to take away the space between paragraphs, but resist the urge! Having white space incorporated in your proposal makes it easier to read and will give your reviewers a pleasant reaction when they open your proposal to find a clean, sectioned overview with a clear, readable visual, as opposed to the dread they may experience upon opening an overview that is one block of text with no visual breaks.

When making decisions about your proposal writing, always go back to your audience. Think about what they're trying to do with your proposal - understand it quickly and fairly assess it. And think about their experience; have you conveyed your project in a clear and compelling way? Putting your audience first will always give you a competitive edge. Had I better considered my audience, I might be well on my way to saving us from the zombie apocalypse!

Resources:
Whitespace - Marc Boulton
Active Versus Passive Voice - Purdue Online Writing Lab